Lockdown Parenting For SEND children with Anxiety and Challenging Behaviours
The current lockdown feels like the toughest one yet. Parenting a child with SEND can already be challenging and the lockdown has added to those difficulties. At PlayWise we are seeing a significant increase in the levels of anxiety, stress and low mood in the parents we are working with plus similar mental health changes in their children.
Just this week, the BBC reported that mental health problems in children are on the rise. One in six children in England aged five to 16 now have a possible mental health disorder according to The Mental Health of Children and Young People in England 2020 report.
For children with SEND this means an even deeper level of stress and anxiety demonstrated through an increase in challenging behaviour. Lockdowns mean disruption and disruption to a routine is acutely stressful for many SEND children, leaving them confused, lonely or bored.
Every behaviour you see is a form of communication and as adults it’s our task to try to figure out what that child is communicating so we can then alleviate, reduce or prevent any harm.
We also know that children don’t often say what they are feeling. They show it. The chart below demonstrates what that can look like in everyday scenarios.
| What the parents are seeing | What the child could be experiencing |
| Screaming/crying | Fear- I don’t understand why things are so different |
| Refusal (to go out/ to do schoolwork) | I need to take some control in my life as things feel calmer when I’m in control |
| Sensory seeking – more than usual | All the adults around me are acting differently- mum has been crying/ dad gets more angry and shouts and my little brother is more annoying than usual- I need help to manage the changes |
| Meltdowns when they go anywhere | I want to go to the park or to play with my friends or see nanny and grandad but I can’t |
| Self-harm (scratching/ biting/ pinching themselves/ head banging | When I’m at school I can communicate using visuals but at home they are not as available |
If you are seeing any of these behaviours and think your child might be communicating some of the above, it might be time to take the “Back To Basics” approach.
Ask yourselves these 5 questions
1. Does my child have an effective communication system at home?
2. Am I giving my child choices?
3. Would using a photo visual or a list of what’s happening through the day help them understand what’s going to happen, when and with whom?
4. Have you tried to keep a behaviour diary to see what is happening immediately before and after that behaviour to try to unpick what your child is experiencing?
5. Could changes to your mood/ behaviour/ routines/ activities be impacting on your child?
If you answered ‘No’ to any of those questions you might consider the following actions.
1. Introduce a visual schedule.
2. Offer your child choices.
3. Try to keep a consistent daily routine.
4. Reduce your language.
5. Use a behaviour diary to see patterns and common themes that are emerging.
6. Remember that transitions can be difficult for all children to manage.
7. Understand that the impact of this pandemic is significant for ALL of us and if we’re struggling to cope emotionally at times, it’s not surprising that our children are in frequent meltdown.
If you landed on this page looking for support, we are sending you a warm and fuzzy hug and our Back To Basics Help Sheet below. You can download it here.
If you would like to learn more about our work with SEND children and their families, please get in touch here. info@playwise.org.uk
